How To Live With a Roommate of The Opposite Sex!




living with opposite sex roommates
Photo by Patrick Perkins on Unsplash

The thought of living with a roommate of the opposite sex can cause some very unsettling feelings. Believe it or not, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little awkward or insecure about the idea.

In this article, we’ll discuss everything required to ease your mind and feel very comfortable with the idea, of living with the opposite sex.

Before we start, I want to mention one important thing you also need to have to make the living situation with an opposite gender roommate work, you need confidence!

So, if you feel a bit unsure of things, it’s completely normal, especially if you are young. Confidence will come with your life experience, by living with different types of roommates.

Let’s get started!

Get Rid of Awkward and Insecure Feelings

A lot of people feel awkward or insecure with the idea of living with a roommate of the opposite gender. These feelings can also cause you to feel anxious and very uncomfortable.

You think to yourself, are my friends going to think that some kind of love affair is going on?

Well, I’m here to let you in on a little secret. No one really cares, and most people are not going to think that. If you have a friend who thinks otherwise and is out spreading gossip, tell them it’s platonic, and you might want to question your friendship with them.

An excellent idea for easing the awkwardness you feel with your roommate is to discuss TV shows about roommates of the opposite sex living together.

If you want a good laugh, I suggest you check out the hit TV show “Three’s Company,” which premiered in the late 1970’s. It’s about two women and a single guy being roommates and sharing an apartment.

You can read about the show here:

There are plenty of other shows to watch as well. A great way to break the ice with your opposite sex roommate would be to talk about your favorite shows and movies that might relate to your situation of living together.

Building Rapport With The Opposite Sex

Having a good rapport with the opposite gender all starts with the effort you make to get to know them as a person.

Remember to be kind and treat your opposite gender roommate with respect, the rest will fall into place.

Additionally, you will have no issues getting this arrangement to work out well if you spend some time learning more about your roommate and their interests in life. 

The more common interests you and your opposite sex roommate share for home decorating, cooking, movies, music, humor, and other social activities, the better chance you’ll have at being successful roommates.

Here are some fun ideas you can try so you can learn about each other:

  • Discuss how you’d like to decorate and furnish your new place. Find out about each other’s tastes and agree on what will work.
  • In the kitchen, you can share each other’s secret recipes and give each other tips for being the best chef in town.
  • Have your closest friends come over and socialize for a BBQ or a small gathering. This is an excellent way to help your roommate find new connections for dating, finding a new job, or a new business opportunity!
  • Give each other advice on setting up an appealing online dating profile.
  • Discuss your favorite movies and shows on Netflix, then set up a time to watch them together.

If you two are hitting it off by doing all of these cool things, that’s a great sign that this roommate relationship will prosper and grow. If not, you’ll most likely end up going your separate ways at the end of the lease.

Next, let’s discuss the one thing that’s essential to having a good relationship with your opposite sex roommate.

You Need Trust With The Opposite Sex

Like any other relationship you might get yourself in, trust has to exist between you and the other person. Trust will take some time to build as you discover more personal details about each other. Be patient and open with your roommate, especially if they take a bit longer to trust you back.

Be careful! Nothing will disrupt the trust between opposite-sex roommates faster than behavior that could be perceived as threatening or dangerous.

If your roommate wants a friend to stay the night in your new place to help them feel safe, don’t have an issue with that. Otherwise, you could come off as jealous or not trustworthy. Your intentions could also be questioned.

And… Don’t ever be upset if your opposite sex roommate starts dating someone. You’ll come off as a jealous, controlling roommate, which is an instant turn-off. However, it’s important to establish some boundary rules, like no more than two nights a week for overnight guests. After all, it’s not fair to the other roommate to move in with your new dating partner.

Feeling safe in a new living space is the most important feeling for your new roommate to have. This is especially true if they are moving out on their own for the first time. So give them all the time they need to feel secure about living with you.

Avoid Flirting With Each Other, Even if it’s Friendly

You must avoid any flirting that might breach the boundary for being just roommates. If the flirting does start, it is best to just ignore or laugh about it in a friendly way. If needed, you can remind them of the trust you have for one another being just roommates, and how important it is for you not to break that trust.

If further action is required, remind them of the roommate agreements you signed together and that it’s just a friendship “roomy” relationship.

Sometimes people (men or women) can have a bubbly or flirty personality that may seem like they are hitting on you. But they are not! Some people cannot turn this off, and they act flirty and friendly with everyone they know. If that is the case with your opposite gender roommate, you have nothing to worry about.

Friendly flirting is one thing, but sleeping with them is an entirely different matter all in itself. If you break the boundaries and sleep with your roommate, you’ve already changed the relationship you have as roommates, it will be up to you two to decide where things go.

BTW… I’m sure there is a large percentage of opposite sex roommates out in the world who may have hooked up and are married now. That’s certainly a possibility, and if it ever works out that way, great! I mean, after all, there’s no law about hitting on your roommate, as long as they welcome it.

Final Thoughts

I hope you found the information in this guide useful. There’s always a small chance that an issue will come up with your opposite sex roommate that you don’t see eye to eye on. That is OK, try to work it out the best way you can, or call it quits and move on to something better.


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